The Usual Suspects

It seems that this year the tree is not in danger of being pulled to the ground or marked as trees of Christmases past have been.  It stands elegant and beautiful in our front window.  However, it appears that the tree is slowly being whittled away.  Every day my husband or I come home and find a tiny pile of green needles in a small pool of saliva.  Yes, friends, our tree is being eaten.  My husband and I have different theories as to who the culprit might be.  I present to you the suspects and shall leave the final analysis to your discretion.

The first suspect is Bunny "Baby Face".  She is completely cute and innocent-looking.  However, last year was the first year that the needle munching began to happen, according to my husband, which does seem rather suspicious.  She has also been known to munch tall grass outside like a Guernsey cow. 

The next suspect is "Curly Tail" Blue.  She is a model hound now, but in the past she was infamous for her thieving ways.  This suspect has been known to play pranks just to get the attention of humans, too.  Usually her exploits involve the theft of food, however, she's been known to take the occasional random piece of plastic.  We believe this is mainly done to keep us on our toes.  She seems the least likely suspect, but hounds can be quite devious and you can never be sure unless you see them for yourself.

Our final suspect is "Shifty Sneak" Lilac.  Yes, she is geriatric in greyhound years; she turned fourteen in September.  However, she has always been an unrepentant thief.  While our other greyhounds will hang their heads in remorse at even the thought of being caught in a misdeed, Lilac will stare you right in the eye with a look that says "I did it, and you know that I know that you know I did it, so let's just cut to the part where you forgive me and hand me a cookie."  She was also involved in a rash of thefts from our trees for several years in a row, stealing metal ornaments and trying to eat them.  The suspect hasn't been noticed trying to eat other greenery in quite some time however, so that does hold opinion in her favor a bit.

There you have it, our list of suspects.  I know some people will be tempted to tell us that the cat was involved, but sadly there is no cat here who could have committed the crime.  All three suspects are the only ones know to have been in the vicinity when the crime occurred.  We are still collecting evidence at this time.  If we find out who the guilty party is, we'll be sure to let you know.  Until then, it appears that our tree will be spending time behind bars, or baby gates!

Ghosts of Christmas Past

As the Christmas season begins to envelop us, I am reminded of the first year that my husband and I celebrated Christmas with greyhounds.  The year before had been the first year we'd celebrated Christmas in our new house, but there had been a blizzard every weekend of December and it had been too treacherous for us to venture out to get a Christmas tree.  We barely managed to get our Christmas shopping done.  Treat was our Christmas present to ourselves that year and she came home on December 30.  She would have experienced a Christmas tree if the weather gods had been more favorable, but as it was, she and Hawk celebrated their first Christmas together in our house with a tree at the end of the next year.

I can remember the look on Hawk's face as we'd brought the tree into the living room.  His eyes said "You love me so much, you got me indoor plumbing" but we informed him that it wasn't the case and life started off rather smoothly.  This Christmas tree was particularly difficult to get set up in the stand, but we persevered and were soon rewarded with a rather nice-looking tree in our living room.  Charlie Brown would have been envious.  The cats seemed to have more interest in the tree than the dogs did and we soon relaxed about having any accidents or problems. 

About a week before Christmas, my husband and I went out shopping together.  We had packed in a busy day and had picked up a few toys for the dogs while we were out.  One of those was a stuffed snowman that sang "Jingle Bells" that I thought Hawk would really like.  As we were wrapping up our shopping, we got a phone call that my husband's great grandmother was in the hospital.  We ran home, since we were shopping in a different city from where she was hospitalized, and fed the dogs and let them out.  While we were home, I couldn't resist giving Hawk the new toy.  His eyes lit up and his tail went into helicopter circles.  The toy incited him into a near rapturous state as he pounced on it and tossed it around.  We left the house again, satisfied that the dogs were taken care of for the next few hours and went to visit at the hospital. 

When we came home, my husband said "The Christmas tree is gone."  I thought he was joking, which he nearly always is, and laughed it off.  However, when we entered the back door, I knew that something was terribly wrong.  Instead of two happy hounds at the back door, we were greeted by silence.  Treat and Hawk came creeping across the kitchen floor looking so guilty and terrified that I could not imagine what had happened.  As I walked into the living room, I learned the truth.

Our Christmas tree lay on the ground, a strand of white lights trailing in a straight line towards the kitchen door.  Ornaments were scattered across the living room floor.  The candles on the coffee table were broken and hanging off the edge of the table.  Two of the crocheted ornaments that had been hanging on the tree had been attacked by Treat in a fit of retribution and had been left chewed and gummy.  My husband took them out to the turn out pens and then brought them into the garage while we cleaned up the carnage.  Half an hour later, we had righted the tree, cleaned up the ornaments, run the vaccuum and brought the dogs back in.  We imagine that Hawk was playing with the snowman, tossed it into the tree or beneath it, then got caught in the lights as he tried to retrieve it, setting off the chain of events.

The next morning we noticed that the tree was listing to the side.  By afternoon it had to be readjusted and we could see that there were some pretty deep scars in the trunk from the fall the night before.  We got out some pieces of plywood and stuck them in between the tree and the screws from the tree stand.  That helped for a few days.  Then the cat decided that he should pee on the tree.  That smelled bad enough, but then the wood began to rot.  The day after Christmas, we drug the dilapidated tree to the curb and everyone breathed a sigh of relief for their own reasons.  We couldn't stand the smell, the cats didn't like it blocking their afternoon sunshine and the dogs didn't like the way it kept looking at them funny.  We laugh about that tree every year as we get ready to set up one for the new season.

We're Hunting Christmas Trees

Bunny here, taking over Mom's new laptop to tell you about my adventure today.  It started out like an ordinary Saturday with the humans watching the television in their jammies.  Then Dad said something to Mom that I didn't hear clearly, since I was busy playing with my new Christmas hedgamahog and she went and got in the shower. 

Soon I saw the signs that they were getting ready to go somewhere, again, and I sighed to myself.  They've been going places a lot lately and I miss them being at home.  Sure enough, Dad took us all outside for a powder room break and then we came back in.  Yep, I said to myself, they're definitely going somewhere again.  Mom was already headed for the van. 

Imagine my surprise and delight when Dad whispered my name and showed me a leash.  I hopped off the couch as quick as one of Santa's reindeer and headed straight for the door.  Dad put the leash on and took me out to the van, too!  I hopped up in the van and we took off.  I didn't know where we were going, but I'm always up for a trip with my people!  It was even better that I was the only one who got to go.

We drove for a long time and I snacked on french fries while we went through the city.  Soon we were out in the country, but we kept driving.  Before long we were off on a little dirt road, but we still kept going.  It was turning out to be a long drive, but I didn't want to take a nap and miss anything.  Finally, we stopped at a farm and Mom put my leash back on. 

We got out of the van and started walking towards a big white barn.  They had these little metal carts and Dad got very excited for some reason.  He got a saw and started pulling the cart and we walked off into this little forest.  There were green trees everywhere!  The smell was ticking my nose something fierce.  There was tall grass, too, and it was just begging me to eat it.  I thought we drove all the wayout there for a grass buffet, but then Mom told me to knock it off.  Figures! 

So, we sniffed around out there for a while.  Then Mom explained that we were looking for a tree to take back to the house to put presents under.  Humans have some strange ideas sometimes, but I've found it's best to just humor them and go along with things.  You get better treats that way.  Anyroo, after I knew what we were hunting for (trust me, I looked for rabbits, but there were none to be had) I joined in the search.  Apparently, not just any tree will do.  Some are too big.  Others are too small.  They can't be too fat or too skinny.  You can't get one with a hole in it.  Forget about ones that don't have a straight trunk.  I pointed out a few that I thought were good, but apparently they need to walk around the whole tree forest before picking one -- and they complain that we dogs have to circle three times before laying down!   That's nothing compared to this.  I was having a good time, though.  It was a very nice day, sunny and not too warm or cold.  A walk in the woods to pick a tree was a perfect activity and I was involved in the decision, so I can't growl any.  We finally found the perfect tree and Dad set to work cutting it down. 

After he got done cutting it down, I saw why he was so excited about the little cart.  It was just the right size to carry that tree back to the barn.  How clever Dad turned out to be!  We carted the tree back and then went to pay for it.  I supervised the baling and loading up of the tree and then got into the van.  I kept a close eye on it for the trip back.

Apparently, Mom didn't think we had enough shiny baubles to put on the tree when we got it back, so we stopped at a shop called 20,000 Christmas Ornaments.  Mom and Dad went in and took pictures.  Apparently, wagging greyhound tails are a liability in those kinds of places, so I stayed in the van and made sure nobody made off with our tree.  I definitely didn't want to have to go back and pick out another one.  Anyroo, Dad got some pictures from inside the store and now I think it's called 19,996 Christmas Ornaments because Mom bought four in there. 

That left us back on the road again and Mom had to stop at Target and get a bookshelf, then we stopped by Dad's sister's house where they were baking cookies.  I offered my services as a cookie taster, but they assured me that they had it under control.  Hmph!  I got to play with my cousin Lily and her boy and girl for a little while.  They gave me a rawhide and I thoroughly enjoyed it on the way home. 

When we got home, they set the tree up in the house and worked on putting sparkly lights and ornaments on it.  We hounds have our own tree, too!  It's pink with dog ornaments on it!  I supervised the tree decorating from the couch, because I was one tired puppy.  It was one big adventure, but it wore me out!  I can't wait for the next big adventure, though!