Who's That Sleeping In My Bed?

Our bedtime routine lately has become a comedy of epic proportions. Every night, we make sure all four dogs are in the bedroom with us and the baby gate is up before we turn out the lights and everyone drifts off to dreamland. Lilac is usually the easiest. As soon as last turn out is finished, she slips into the bedroom and curls up in the princess bed, resting her old lady bones so that she can get up early and get our day started. This week she broke another toenail, so she is again sporting her nifty pink bandage, which I'm sure is another reason she's turning in early this week. In any event, she is never a problem about going to bed. Getting up early is her gig. She usually doesn't even notice when the rest of us head to bed.

Her daughter, Blueberry, also likes to turn in a little early. Soon after Lilac heads to bed, Blueberry saunters into the bedroom and makes herself comfortable. On occasion she will lay on our bed, but she really prefers not to be touched while she's sleeping and to stretch out, so she usually finds a dog bed and sacks out.

Here is where the problem begins. There is only one bed that Hawk will lay down on to sleep. What can I say? He's has some Monk tendencies. It's obvious that he gets tired before Husband and I are ready to go to bed, and he certainly could go in the bedroom and lay down on the bed that he believes should be his sole property, but he has to stay in the living room with us. He also has to have everyone in the bedroom when it's time to go to sleep, hence, part of the reason we usher them all in and put up the baby gate at bedtime. He will pace until it becomes a bathroom emergency if everyone is not in the bedroom when it's time to go to sleep. This week, Blueberry has decided to make a power play. She likes the big green bed, too. She has also discovered that old man Hawk is not going to make her move if she gets the spot first, so she has been going to bed early so she can have the cushy bed. So, we go to bed, and then Hawk realizes Blueberry has his bed. He stands and stares at her. He walks around her and the bed in a circle. He walks to the other bed where she usually sleeps and pretends he's going to lay down on that bed, as if she will jump up and run over there to prevent him from getting it. Still, Blueberry snores on -- well, she pretends to, anyway. Hawk begins to pace rather frantically. This results in the dreaded tail lift and now Husband leaps out of bed, grumbling as he leads Hawk outside yet again.

A few minutes later, my husband and Hawk return. At this point, Husband is disgruntled and cranky and he tells Blueberry to move so that Hawk can lay down. Blue goes to the other bed and shrugs it off, knowing that tomorrow is another day. Hawk lies down theatrically, giving a large sigh and huff as his old body settles down on HIS bed.

Finally, my husband returns to bed, only to find that Bunny has gotten herself very comfortable in the bed. He tells her to move and she snuggles down into the pillow a little deeper. Husband raises his voice, tugging on the pillow a little and she buries her nose in the blanket with a tiny sigh. He tries tugging on the blanket and our tiny puppy has suddenly become a five hundred pound dog.

At this point, Husband has finally lost his cool and yells at her to MOVE OVER! She lifts her tiny head as if to say, "You're disturbing my beauty sleep! I have to be cute if people are going to want to pet me all the time!" Finally, after a bit of laughter, I call her over to my side of the bed to snuggle, where she settles in with a sigh.

Finally, everybody got to sleep!