If you follow this blog regularly, you may recall that recently Lilac discovered she had something she wanted to tell me. It seems that now she's decided she has a lot to say. Not only does she feel the need to say it at 4:00 in the morning, or when another dog is laying on the bed that she decides she wants, now it seems that she just feels the need to tell us off over any random thing that offends her sensibilities.
It started innocently enough. Blueberry and Bunny didn't respect her aged old lady status, and she feels she needs a sufficiently soft place to rest her old bones. I quickly discovered what it was she wanted at that time. I'm not heartless, I do realize she needs a bit of coddling in her old age. Apparently, however, I did such a good job with her over the bed situation that she's decided she has a lot more to say. Several conversations from the last week or so come to mind.
Lilac: (one loud bark) Hey you! Human!
Me: Did you say something? What do you want?
Lilac: (bark, bark, roo) Isn't it obvious?! Get up and get me what I want!
Me: Look, there are empty dog beds, even the one that's your favorite. Why don't you lay down?
Lilac: (bark, stare) How can you be so dense? It's obvious!
Me: (looking confused, no doubt) You're going to have to help me out a little here. I'm pretty sure Timmy's not in the well. We don't have a Timmy or a well...
Lilac: (snort) I'm not getting any younger here, you know!
Me: Do you need to go outside?
Lilac: (sigh) I'd have peed on the floor by now if that were the problem.
Hawk: (leaping off his bed and turning in circles) I have to go! I have to go!
Me: We were just out! You're fine! I saw you go out there several times.
Hawk: I'm old! My prostrate feels like it has a watermelon sitting on it.
Lilac: (BARK) This is about me! Go lay down, old man!
Me: I already put your food down. Go in the kitchen and eat.
Lilac: (sigh) I ate already. How can you not see it?
Me: (standing and moving over to pet the agitated dog) What is the matter? There are no storms, you've been out, you've been fed, there are free dog beds, too. What else can you want?
Lilac: (scrunching up her eyes in contentment) Just keep petting me and I won't have to scold you anymore!
I love her, but it really is a guessing game figuring out what she wants. It could be access to the bedroom, food, a trip outside for a bathroom break, a toy or bed that she wants or anything else she takes into mind that she wants. No doubt in greyhoundese it sounds quite distinct, but to me the requests all sound the same -- like loud staccato barks! I'm trying to learn the language, but in the meantime, I am glad the old lady is still with us and in good health and spirits. It's perfectly fine with me if she does have a lot to say!