Why We Should Have Stayed Home With The Dogs On Christmas Eve

I regret to inform you that for the most part, the dogs are not going to have a lot to do with this story, but I felt like sharing it anyway, so here it goes.  I love the season of Christmas, but I also find it completely exhausting.  My parents have been divorced since I was seven years old, so having two of every holiday became commonplace for me as I grew up.  When you're a kid, having two Christmases and birthdays is a pretty good deal. 

Now that I'm an adult and married, the holidays are a lot more complicated.  Since Mr. Taleteller and I got married, both of my parents have gotten married.  This means that I now have four family Christmases on my side, plus one at Mr. Taleteller's house.  Christmas Eve has always been when we celebrated with my dad's family, a throwback to our Norwegian heritage that still continues.  It's one that is fun for us, and more laid back.  It involves my dad, stepmom, sister, Mr. Taleteller and me. 

This year the plan was that we'd meet at my dad's house and then go over to the city and see True Grit.  We met early, knowing that with the possibility of a lot more snow falling that day that it could possibly take us up to an  hour to reach the theatre.  As it turned out, it didn't start snowing too hard until we'd gotten almost to the theatre.  We arrived and found out that the movie time had been changed and we were an hour early.  I might mention at this point that my sister had gone to work out early that morning and had taken something to help her get motivated for working out that is the equivalent of six cans of soda.  She was like The Hulk, just waiting to go postal on someone.  We purchased our tickets and then went next door to pick up a gift certificate for a last minute attender to Mr. Taleteller's family get together that we needed.  That took all of ten minutes.  Then, my dad got a bright idea.

My stepgrandmother lives about five minutes from the movie theatre.  It turns out that a deer had been struck by a car near her house and had died in her yard.  She had planned to call someone to move the deer when she, my dad and stepmom all returned from the trip they're taking to visit my stepbrothers and their families in California.  However, she's one of those worrier types.  My dad had visions of her driving my stepmom insane with her worrying the entire trip about getting the dead deer out of her yard.  Apparently the road commision will move it if it's by the road, but not if it's too far away.  My dad figured it was just across the ditch and just needed to be moved by the road to be picked up.  He surveyed the passengers of the car and surmised that it would be an easy task to drag this dead deer to the road.  Nobody was consulted in this plan of his, he just told my stepmom to make a call and see if it had been moved yet.  It had not.

Suddenly, I was glad I'd dressed up a bit for Christmas Eve.  My red wool coat and white gloves were not suited to moving deer carcasses, and there is no way my dad would ever ask my stepmom to do such a task.  That left Mr. Taleteller, my dad and my sister still amped up on workout juice to move the deer.  We arrived at Stepgranny's house and saw no deer.  This did not bode well in my mind.  Dad parked the vehicle and we all got out and walked around the house. 

A giant deer with a badly fractured leg lay fifty yards or so from the road, across from a rather steep ditch.  It had been dead a couple of days and coyotes had started working on the head.  Apparently Rudolph's nose is highly coveted by coyotes.  It was a gruesome sight for sure.  The three of them began dragging it towards the road and I just had to walk away.  Mr. Taleteller launched into a spontaneous rendition of "Grandma Ran Over Santa's Reindeer."  My sister was definitely the smallest member of the group, but darned if she wasn't in the lead for dragging that dead deer.  Finally, those energy powders were good for something.  I don't think the ditch even phased her, although I thought my husband was about to take a header at that point.

Ten minutes from when they started, the task was done.  We all loaded back into the car and headed back to the movie theatre to watch True Grit.  The movie finished and we stopped at a local restaurant for dinner where it appeared that they'd forgotten to turn on the heat.  We sat bundled up in our coats eating our salads and pasta.  I felt like we might be in some sort of reality sitcom yet again.  It was definitely a Christmas Eve to remember! 

Sometimes I think it really might be better if we were orphans who got to spend Christmas at home alone with our dogs.  Fortunately, when we got home, they were still as glad to see us as always.  Morgan has a newfound interest in Mr. Taleteller's gloves, which I fear we'll have to hide from her for all time.  The dogs were nice enough to share the couch with us and watch Christmas Vacation with us while we wrapped presents for Christmas morning. 

So how did you spend Christmas Eve?  I'm betting nobody else gets to say they spent it hauling a dead deer.  I feel so special!

Good Tidings To All

We'd just like to take a moment to wish everyone who reads our blog a Merry Christmas, God Jul, Feliz Navidad, Happy Channukah or good tidings for whatever you choose to celebrate at this time of year.  Hopefully, you'll get something you wished for today and be able to enjoy time with family and friends.  No matter what I find wrapped up under the Christmas tree today, I have already been blessed with the best presents of all.  Those would be the wonderful Mr. Taleteller, who understands my insanity and is probably the only person in the world who could live with me, and four furry bodies who also humor me in my craziness every day.  The best part is that they keep giving every day of the year!

Wherever you are and whoever you're with, know that if you share our everyday lives with us that we are thankful for you and that we wish you the best, not just today, but every day.    Enjoy the spirit of the season and peace be with you.

We're participating in this Saturday's Pet Blog Hop, hosting by Life With Dogs, Two Little Cavaliers and Confessions of the Plume.  If you'd like to participate, please follow the rules and follow your three hosts, add your blog to the Linky and copy and paste the html code into your html editor.  Thanks again to our hosts for putting on the hop!

It Happened One Christmas Eve...

Bunny here with a little tale about our Christmas Eve adventures.

You see, it just so happened that we were waiting up for Santa, since I was sure he'd want to take me up on that offer to take over the job from the reindeer.  That's when I got a call.  It was Alien calling to tell us that he had a problem.  His mechanical reindeer weren't working and he needed to fly around the world to deliver presents and keep Sallie from being disappointed again.  Well, I told him that Blueberry and I could pull that space age sleigh faster than any reindeer and since Santa hadn't seen the wisdom of my plan, we'd be happy to help him out.

Blueberry and I donned our Christmas coats and dashed to the door, only to find Lilac and Morgan both there, too.  We tried to convince Lilac that she did not want to come along and pull Alien's sleigh, but she was not to be deterred.  Morgan also kept insisting that she could keep up.  Before we could sort it out, the Hicbarian technology had engaged and we were up in the sleigh with Alien.  Morgan begged to help us, so I took the lead and Morgan ran beside Blueberry. 

It was going pretty smoothly as we ran along, stopping at all the homes of the dogs we knew had been good and leaving them all sorts of good treats.  We even stopped at all the shelters and left presents and food for the dogs and cats waiting for their forever homes.  It was rather exhilarating to run along in the sky combining our Greyhound speed and the Hicbarian technology so that we could fly.

Well, it just so happened that Lilac might have been whispering something in Alien's ear that had him distracted.  While he was gazing into her eyes, we saw Santa zipping through the sky with his eight reindeer.  We couldn't help it.  Our Greyhound instincts kicked in and we took off.  We just had to pass Santa and those reindeer.  As we raced off in hot pursuit, Alien and Lilac had to hang on back there in the sleigh.

I heard Santa shout "Ho Ho Ho" and I yelled "Eat My Dust" and we gave it everything we had.  It was awesome!  Santa and all his reindeer stared at us as we flew past them with mouths in a perfect O shape.  If I'd had time, I'd have snapped a picture, but we were going too fast.  I'm hoping we don't end up on the naughty list next year over a little friendly competition, but if we do, that's okay.  It was completely worth it!

Soon, we were all done with our important job and we headed back so Alien could deliver his special present for Sallie.  Then we headed home because we were definitely in need of a nap.  We Greyhounds run hard and sleep hard, it's just part of who we are.  No sooner were we back home then Morgan, Blueberry and I were all curled up in our beds and dreaming of sugar bones. 

Imagine our surprise when we woke up Christmas morning and found a stash of presents under the tree.   Everything we'd asked for was wrapped up nicely under the tree.  There was even a new fan with a big red bow on top.  I walked up to the tree in awe.  There on top of my presents was a letter from Santa.

Dear Bunny,

You were right!  Greyhounds are much faster than reindeer.  I was amazed by your speed as you charged past my coursers.  For a little hound, you are certainly fast!  Next year, will you please guide my sleigh with a team of Greyhounds?  

Please accept these gifts as a reward for your generosity in helping  Alien deliver presents to those I couldn't reach.  I'll be looking forward to meeting you next year!

Love,
Santa

P.S.  Lilac's present involved handcuffs, Alien and that sleigh of his.  I'm sure she'll be back in due time!

Wow!  I guess dreams do come true, for all of us!  Merry Christmas to all!

Letters to Santa -- Bunny

I know that Bunny is a little hound with big dreams, but I really had no idea how big her dreams had gotten.  Here's her letter, the last of the ones for Santa.  I wonder if he'll send a reply.

Dear Santa,

Bunny here, writing you a letter with a few thoughts I've had.

I know most hounds and humans write you letters with things that they want, and I do have a list that I'll get to in a little bit.  First, though, I have an idea that I think merits your attention.  I hope you'll consider my suggestions.

You see, I've noticed that you fly around the world being pulled by eight reindeer.  There is no way that a reindeer is as fast as a Greyhound.  If you had Greyhounds to pull your sleigh, you'd get done a lot faster, and then we could all go back to the North Pole and take a long winter's nap.  We could wear festive coats with lights flashing on them and even boots so that no one would hear us when we land on the roofs of the houses we visit.  Nobody would be woken up by the pawing and prancing of each little hoof, because we'd all curl up quietly and rest while you were down in the houses distributing the toys.  We also eat a lot less than reindeer, so we'd be more cost efficient.  I think you'd also have to agree that we're a lot sweeter and nicer than reindeer, too.  I mean, which one would you rather curl up with by the fire after all the Christmas work is over?  I think you have to agree that we're much more suited to the job.  Blueberry and I are willing to do the job, and I'm sure that we can find six more friends who are willing to help out!  Just let us know if you're interested.

As for my list, I mostly hope that each of my sisters and Mom and Dad get what they want.  They've been good all year -- well, except for Lilac, but she's old and she needs some breaks.  Don't hold those things she does against her, please.  I'd like a couple of new Tummy Warmers, some dog bakery treats, some pink sparkly things, and a winning lottery ticket.  That way I could hire Mom as my personal assistant and she could stay home with me all day.  I think that would be the best present ever!

Love,

Bunny

P.S.  Don't worry about Morgan biting you when you get here.  We talked and I've got it all worked out.  As long as she gets to sniff you first, it's all good!

Letters to Santa -- Lilac

I'm guessing that most of you know by now that I found some letters the girls wrote to Santa.  I decided to post them this week since we've been extremely busy with five family Christmas parties, shopping, several birthdays and work.  I wonder if Santa is amused.

Dear Santa,

I'm not going to lie to you. I've been bad this year.  When you get as old as I am, you learn to take liberties.  I poop on the floor if I feel like it, bark to wake the humans up in the middle of the night if I feel restless so they can join me, steal food if I can and teach Morgan as many of my habits as I can.  Let's face it, somebody has to keep the tradition alive when I'm gone, and it won't be those goody two shoes Bunny and Blueberry!

A note to Santa from Bunny -- Please remember that Lilac is very old!  She's a little senile, I'm afraid.  Please don't let her attitude reflect on the rest of us here, I beg you!  Blueberry, Morgan and I are good girls!

Anyhow, Santa, I think I ought to get credit just for being alive at this point, and for letting Mom and Dad get a few hours sleep every night.  I'd really like a new coat that covers my behind and for you to explain to Mom and Dad that I need a Potty Patch.  It's too darned cold for me to be going outside to take care of business!  I'd also like an assortment of treats, an elevator for the back steps and a new Mother Bunny bunny or tribble, and a dias with some handsome young men to carry me around.  Please deliver these when you bring the other presents on Christmas Eve!

Sincerely,

Lilac

Dear Santa,

Please don't let the rest of us die of embarrassment!  I don't know where she gets her crazy ideas.  I swear that we're good girls!

Bunny