Friday, February 25, 2011

Poo In Your Shoe

Tuesday nights usually find me enjoying a quiet night at home with the Greyhounds while Mr. Taleteller and Morgan are off at class.  For the most part, it's a relaxing night until the other part of our pack arrives home.  After the initial excitement of being reunited, things usually settle down again.  However, this week was a little different.

I had joked with my husband earlier that I never get foot rubs anymore, and so upon his return home, he sat on the couch beside me to better massage my feet instead of in his chair, setting off a chain reaction of events.  Firstly, Bunny was offended that he sat on our couch uninvited, by her at least, and set out to let him know that he'd better make room for the princess.  She does this by staring at him with her invisible laser beam eyes and if those fail to work, she finds a way to climb into the narrowest possible sliver of available couch space and laying down.  To keep the peace, he simply scooted over closer to me and gave her the whole cushion at the other end of the couch.  Bunny laid down, content that she'd asserted her authority.

Now I should mention that a while back, Mr. Taleteller started the habit of always taking the dogs out when he got home, whether it was turn out time or not.   I warned him that it wasn't a good idea, but he seems to think that he knows better.  Alas, I digress.  Lately, he's been rather annoyed that whenever Lilac sees him come home, she expects him to escort her outside to take car of business.  Telling him that I think he taught her that would probably be unwise.  Anyway, there was the excitement of his arrival, followed by the theft of the bed she wanted by a certain blue brindle mastermind.  Lilac was walking around the living room and  suddenly decided to drop a few turdlets into our life.  My husband jumped off the couch and grabbed a tissue, flushing the offending and stinky thing down the toilet before retiring to his own chair to catch up on his own online things.

I sat on the couch and I could have sworn that I still smelled the offending odor.  Since my spouse had already been...less than happy about the earlier herald of his arrival home, I tried to avoid saying anything.  Finally, unable to take any more, I decided to get up and look around.  That's when I saw it.  A turdlet lay nestled in my new fuzzy pink slipper.  How she managed to poop in my slipper is a mystery for the ages.  "It was a million to one shot, doc," Mr. Taleteller chortled.  I was unable to see the humor in the situation.  At least my husband carried the slipper off to the washing machine before I throttled a certain dark brindle Greyhound.

Me:  Why would you poop in my slipper?

Lilac:  You've got to poop when the spirit says "poop."

Me:  It's not funny!  Don't you have any shame?

Lilac:  Shame?  Is this another one of those complicated human emotions?  I don't trouble myself with those.

Me:  (grumbling)  You're lucky you're old!

Lilac:  It's not the party you make it out to be, but it has a few perks.

Me:  Obviously!

Lilac:   I'll just be over here taking my late evening nap if you decide to start passing out bedtime treats.

I know she didn't do it on purpose.  It's just one of those indignities of old age, and they aren't easy for the aged or those living with them.  I'm praying that it was a million to one shot that can never be repeated.  Still, just to be sure, I'll be watching TV this weekend with my slippers on.  After all the times Bunny has joked about "poo in the shoe" I never thought it could really happen to me.  Still, what can you do besides laugh about it?  Okay, I'll admit, I'd have laughed a lot harder initially if it had happened to someone else.  I'm just glad that we still have her around with us and can laugh about her antics.

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  1. So funny.... keep it up cute Lilac. But next time have to go outside of the house, OK.

  2. Oh dear! Well Momma-1 has a friend whose poodle would leave a present in the bathroom slipper from time to time. At least this was an isolated incident!

  3. That was too funny! Yup, from now on keep those slippers on your feet gal!

  4. Lilac is very talented! Too funny. :)

    Woofs and LIcks,
    Maggie Mae

  5. Turdlets! LOL!
    I had to laugh at her pooping in your slipper, but you are right it is only funny when it happens to someone else!
    My husband stepped in turdlets this week, left in the hallway by Plunger! I laughed my butt off, but if it was me I would of been cursing up a storm!

  6. I'm just glad that you noticed before wiggling your toes into your slipper! I hope that Lilac enjoyed her bedtime treat despite her (unintentional, I'm sure) antic.

    We once had a just-adopted young lab who had lived in a kennel for his whole life and wasn't quite house-trained. He went to the door to ask to go out. When no one responded quickly enough, he raised his leg and peed in the Runner's waterproof hiking boot. The boot completely held the pee (no leakage) but didn't smell right for a very long time! We still laugh about it.

    You asked about the bear den a while ago, and I forgot to reply. I know that it's empty based on a visit a month ago or so. I'm being lower key about it this year to avoid having anyone else who lives near me search for it. I feel certain that it'll be used in some future year, but I can never know when exactly.

  7. Poo in your shoe! At least it wasn't intentional like McIver peeing on my husband's foot last weekend! My goodness, the laughs are never ending...

    Mamma Heartbeat

  8. Ahahahahah!! I'm so glad you understand - she's such a sweetheart. Look at that dear grey face!!

    It kind of reminds me of the time when I lived at home and we had a beautiful black, wilful, half-Siamese cat. If she got locked in the house longer than she thought was right, she'd poop in the bath and cover it up with MY facecloth. Mine, every single time. Now, that was deliberate!

  9. OMD, I is BOLing thinking you could has put your feets in the slipper afore you knowed there woz poo in it. Now THAT would has been even more funnier! Well, fur me, not fur you or my mom who would has felt sympathy squishes.

  10. Ode to Lilac: (clears throat)

    Oh Lilac, Oh Lilac

    Your aim was so true.

    Fancy you getting

    Your poo in the shoe.

    A couch-hogging Bunny

    Is really not funny.

    Morgan's on guard,

    Which for her isn't hard.

    And then there is Blue

    So what's a girl to do?

    Let them know you're there

    Next time they'll take care.

    Oh Lilac, dear Lilac

    We must form a queue

    To thank you for dropping

    Your poo in the shoe.

  11. BOL! This is hilarious... omg, sorry... but mom was definitely giggling!

  12. Yep hide your slippers MOM I am going to be working on my target practice this weekend.

  13. I just love this line:

    Is this another one of those complicated human emotions? I don't trouble myself with those.

    I am laughing just writing it down. :)

  14. Ohh me oh my dat did makes da moms chortle, she chortled so much her tummy wobbled likes a big bowl ovs jello

    Nice one Lilac

    xx xx

  15. Oh that Lilac! She's so crazee!

    At least she's making some, while not fond, memories!

  16. Bwhahahahahaha...OMD, it's never ending over theres! Just blame everything on MR.TT and all will be okays!

    See ya'll tomorrow at da banquet.


  17. When I was younger, once my cat threw up in my shoe. And I put it on without socks. I guess we can never be careful enough.

  18. haha humans don't even wear shoes down here in SC!

    The Road Dogs

  19. Laughing out loud! Great story!

  20. Thanks for the laugh! "It's not the party you make it out to be, but it has a few perks." That is golden.

    -Chandra at Daley's Dog Years

  21. You are a spirited gal, Lilac and I admire that! Well behaved women rarely make history. I can't remember who said that, but I think it is true!

    Your pal, Pip

  22. OH my the story was already funny but Winnie that was also just great! You guys crack me up. As for shoes well, maybe she was jealous Mr T was giving you attention instead of her ;)


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