Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Criminal Elements

Saturday night we had our first serious misdeed since Morgan has come to join our family.  We arrived home from an evening of shopping for a birthday gift for my dad to find that a bag of trash had been strewn across the kitchen and living room floors.  I must regretfully inform you that there are no photos of this disaster that left our living room looking like some kind if ground zero scenario, but Mr. Taleteller was decidedly unamused by the incident and my suggestion of taking a few photos for posterity were met with an angry glower.

You may be thinking to yourselves that having an eighteen-month-old puppy in the house often leads to such episodes.  However, the fact that she was in the crate at the time of the crime proves her innocent of any wrongdoing.  That leaves the usual suspects to chose from.  This time, there wasn't any doubt.  Lilac was clearly the culprit.

It has been three or four years since Lilac has pulled any of her garbage heists, but when she was first living with us, she was a mistress of stealth and cunning and the garbage can was most always the scene of her crime.  The most infamous incident involved a family chili cookoff where there were lots of test cups of different pots of chili discarded in our trash can.  It was not a pretty sight.  Still, in recent years, she has seemed to have given up the inclination. 

There were signs earlier in the day that foreshadowed the evening's events.  She was particularly interested in the bag that carried the teriyaki chicken sandwich that had carried home my lunch that day.  There was one sly pass through the kitchen where she returned to the living room with an empty Milkbones box.  Still, all seemed forgotten by the time we left for town hours later.  Lilac was fast asleep in front of her fan, with everything arranged perfectly to her satisfaction. 

How easily we were decieved!  We returned home to find that not only had she dug through to find the Milkbones box that had been hidden in the bottom, she also snacked on the styrofoam box that had once housed my sandwich.  Topping things off, she drug the garbage bag all the way across the living room and left it beside her bed.  I suppose that was a good spot to lay by the fan while she went through the bag's contents in search of some delectable morsel that she figured was hidden inside.

I'm not sure who got the last laugh in this scenario.  There wasn't anything in the bag besides good smells.  However, Lilac didn't have to put all the garbage back in the bag.  You can rest assured that the garbage bags were stored outside in the back hallway Monday morning before garbage day, though!

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  1. Nothing is evFUR hidden from our snooters!

    Mom is furever reminding The Doggy Nanny of that fakht!


  2. That's funny! The garbage trail leading to her bed, now that makes you laugh!

  3. HooWoo!! This is so funny.
    BabyRD and Hootie

  4. hahah she wasn't worried about incriminating herself then!

  5. Wow, those squirrels are really getting crafty. To plant the empty milkbone box in her mouth earlier in the day. And then to drag that garbage across the room in front of her bed. And to throw garbage everywhere while Morgan barked at the squirrels.

    Good thing Lilac was there to chase the squirrels from the house and protect the garbage until you got home.

    P.S. - No picture taking? Dog bloggers should know that any disaster is always fodder for blogs.

  6. Ooh, I love a true crime story! I have to say that the perp didn't do a great job of obscuring the evidence, however. Better luck next time, Lilac.

    lotsa licks, Lola

  7. Oh Lilac, I can relate. I too have tried to pull off such a caper, but am always caught in the act.

    Your pal, Pip

  8. I LOVE that picture! So funny. Although the garbage heist was not so humorous I`m sure!

  9. Poor Lilac,
    Now she has a "mug shot" BUT she is innocent until proven guilty and I really like the squirrel story defense...

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae

  10. We are a family of garbage hounds! That's why the garbage is kept behind a secret door in the kitchen that we haven't figured a way to open - YET!
    But, in the case of Lilac vs. the garbage - do you have any eyewitnesses? taped evidence? If not, my friend, then we're talking circumstantial evidence here and Miss Lilac might just have been (gasp!) FRAMED!
    The Road Dogs, Esq.

  11. Woof! Woof! Funny Furry Crime. Lots of Golden Laughs. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

  12. I have to say I BOL about the trail of trash to the bed. I agree with The Herd - sounds like a setup!!!


  13. Morgan is lucky she was in the crate--otherwise it might have been tough figuring out who was the culprit! She is the one I would undoubtedly place the blame on if I had to guess--and Lilac would be my last choice!

  14. Dear Lilac,

    I also find garbage quite irresistible! We should get together sometime...

    A fellow scavenger,


  15. My mom lawks up the garbages like it be rilly valoobull or somefing. There be no dumpster diving for us. Boo.

  16. That tell tale trail... I'm sure you have pictures in your mind...

    This scenario has happened to us in the past. We now keep our garbage on top of the washing machine in our laundry room which is next to the kitchen. And yet we returned to the house a couple of weeks ago with flour, coffee, and other pantry items strewn across the living room floor. The vacuum actually smelled better after picking up oregano and other pantry spices. The pantry door must have been open a smidgen. We're thinking of putting a baby gate up to keep the dogs in the den. We feed them on the tile in front of the unused fireplace and they have sofas upon which to lounge.

    Then again it COULD have been the squirrels...

  17. heehee! i've nevarrr had the chance to go dumpster diving cuz i stay in the laundry room when mama and daddy leave the house. my big sis asa has free reign of the living room and kitchen, though, and if she gets cranky that mama and daddy are leaving and there's garbage out...boy howdy! she is a trash digging PRO!
    the booker man

  18. Hey there!
    I love the mug-shot too!...very funny!
    ...and they don't call it 'Garbage Guts' for nothing.
    Sending lotsaluv

  19. I would have thought that she would try to frame Morgan. I guess she feels being higher in the pack order has its benefits.

  20. Sometimes the smells are more than we can handle. We don't bother anything on the counter(weird for a known counter surfing breed) and for the longest time ignored the trash. We then went through a period where that is all we wanted to do. It has however gotten boring and we like to keep mom and dad on their toes so we are ignoring it again!


    Mr. Nubbin'

  21. Lilac got BUSTED by the Trash PoPo. OOOOPS

  22. I thinks I's gonna agrees withs da herd....sumptin just sounds fishy bout dis.
    Whew...I thoughts I'd be da furst one round heres to haves a mug shot but luckily, someone beat me to it.

  23. I have been dealing with more "accidents" than usual this week with my grand-dog, Rocky here. I am used to those of very short legs and forget that Rocky can reach the counter in the kitchen with no effort. So far, he has grabbed a whole loaf of bread, licked all the leftover food off his boy's plate and this morning he opened a rubbermaid container and took one muffin out........and drooled on the rest. Wall-E is not happy. Blogger tells me that his blog no longer exists and will not let me log on. Everytime I start to make a little progress a customer comes in......

  24. All the yummy trash here is hidden in the cabinet under the sink - and we still haven't figured out how to open it. Bet that was not a pretty sight to see.

    Thanks so much for your kind words about Phantom.

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

  25. Ohhh. What a mess to clean up. Love the mug shot.

    I had a dog that was on a medication with hunger as the number one side effect. Eat the food scoop if we didn't move it out of her way fast enough, hungry. One day we came home to the remains of a pound of fresh ground coffee. It was the only thing we left out after previous counter surfing. We never dreamed she would go for that bag.


  26. Oh-oh!
    I had a good laugh reading about the episode and much more to know she had to explore it in front of the fan!
    Kisses and hugs

  27. Poor Lilac! I'm pretty sure you were framed. FRAMED! Why didn't you tells them the truth? That you were simply protecting the garbage from the shenanigans of The Ninjas? Poor Lilac. So misunderstood.

    Sympathetic Wiggles & Wags,

    PeeS. You might also reminds them that it's a full moon. Ninjas are more active during full moons.

  28. Not sure who got the last laugh of the scenario but I can tell you who got the best: we did! Your readers BOL I'm going to share your story with our Linguini to make her feel better (and normal)

  29. Bet she'd be great at a tag sale - she could find all the best goodies!

    With Morgan's barking, try putting her into a sit and have her focus on you. Take your finger from her nose to the tip of your nose while she is sitting. When she looks at you give her a little kibble treat. At the same time say: quiet or shhhh or hush. You'd be surprised how quickly she will learn.

  30. Can I say good dog? Oh come on, they have to have a little fun on their way to wrapping you around their finger, no? :)

  31. Lilac! Couldn't you have flipped the latch on Morgan's crate before you went back to bed? They would have assumed it was that pesky putting paws on greyhounds puppy, right? Now you are in for it. Sheesh. I would have thought a bit more cunning at your age.


  32. so you think putting up her mug shot on the internet makes her guilty or something? hey, i'm thinking priors and garbage near her bed are PURELY circumstantial. she needs a good lawyer. this is ridiculous. I demand the case against Lilac be dropped! If the bag doesn't fit... you must acquit!

  33. My brofur Goliath who lives downstairs on account of his bad arthritis won't let him climb up to live with us any more, is a trashaholic. We tried a variety of 12 step programs but the truth is he was raised at mom's sister's house and all the dogs that come from there have the trash addiction. He particularly likes chicken bones so we have to take the trash out whenever there is chicken for his own protection. He is really sneaky about his trash stealing.


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