Monday, August 30, 2010

Not All Surprises Are Good

Here it is Monday morning again already and I'm sure most of you are musing on just how short the weekend was, just like me.  I had high hopes for us to go and do some fun things with the dogs over the weekend, but then the van needed some work and had to go into the shop until later today, so those plans went a bit to the wayside.  It turned out to be wickedly hot again, so it was probably for the best that we couldn't take the girls off to do some hiking anyway.  Still we somehow managed to have some excitement here, but it wasn't exactly the sort I was looking forward to.

Saturday night, Mr. Taleteller and I returned home after going out for dinner and doing a bit of shopping.  We stayed up to watch Saturday Night Live and the Taylor Swift episode actually proved to be rather amusing.  At around midnight, we decided to head to bed.  I did a little bit of reading and then turned out the light and went to bed.  I expected to have a nice night's rest, especially since Lilac has recently decided that she'd rather not have to get us all up lately on the weekends.  No doubt you're all thinking that this doesn't sound like a terribly eventful Saturday evening.

At one o'clock, I woke up to my husband moving around muttering something that my sleep-fogged brain didn't decipher.  As the fog began to clear, I turned over and tried to squint over at him over Bunny's nose, which was sleeping blissfully away on my pillow.  She buried her nose against my chest as I tried to lean up.  I should mention here that we've been sleeping on top of the bedding with just light quilts on top of us because it's been so warm.

Me:  What's wrong?

Mr. Taleteller:  I don't know.  (I realize he's rifling through the blankets.)

Me:  Um, well, what are you doing?

Mr. Taleteller:  I can't figure it out.  My back keeps getting wetter and wetter.

Me:  What?

Mr. Taleteller:  I think somebody peed on my side of the bed.

At this point, I turn on the lamp and sit up.  Bunny thunks her head down to the bed and continues snoozing away.  My husband keeps rifling through the layers of bedding, feeling it and sniffing at it. 

Mr. Taleteller:  Somebody did!  Somebody peed on the bed!

Me:  (sighing deeply as I climb out of the bed)  I can't believe it. 

Mr. Taleteller:  I can just go sleep on the couch.

Me:  No!  We're getting this in the wash now!

So, the process of unmaking the bed begins, much to Bunny's great annoyance and dismay.  Morgan is up by this point, glad to offer any sort of assistance we might need.  She seems particularly eager to help herd Bunny off the bed for me.  Lilac is up, blinking her eyes like a little owl, wandering around in dazed confusion.  I have to admit, I took a moment to feel a brief pang of victory for having a tad of revenge for the last year of round the clock wake ups from her, even though I am certain that she is the only one who could not be a suspect in this crime.  Throughout the entire incident, Blueberry remained stubbornly on her dog bed on my husband's side of the bed, defiantly sleeping and refusing to move.

As Mr. Taleteller carts the bedding downstairs, I start to work on removing the mattress cover.  We have one of those memory foam beds and I can honestly say that last night, despite the pain of removing that cover, was probably the night I was the happiest to have one.  Not only did the cover and blankets seem to have absorbed most of the disaster, but the foam itself doesn't seem to absorb water but repel it.  We treated it a bit anyway, but nothing had really seeped into the mattress, thank goodness. 

Taking the cover off proved particularly difficult, because Bunny refused to give up the bed.  She kept jumping back up and making sure she had her spot.  I began a little interrogation as I worked.

Me:  Did you pee on this bed?!

Bunny:  I would NEVER!  This is my bed and it's like sleeping on a cloud!  If it was Blueberry or Morgan's bed, well, it might be different, but it's mine.  Can I go back to sleep on it now?  Pretty please!  (doe eyes batted at me)

Lilac:  Who's in the well?  Morgan, go get Timmy out of the well!

Me:  Nobody's in the well!

Morgan:  Headcount!  Where's Dad?  Who broke in and peed on the bed?  Alert!

Me:  I swear, if I find out who did this!

Blueberry:  Zzzzzz!

Me:  Blue, if I find out you did this -- again -- I am going to be SO unhappy!

Bunny:  Maybe Dad wet the bed.

Me:  I don't think so!

Morgan:  Well, he was saying the other day how he's getting old and all...

Lilac:  Getting old sucks! 

Me:  You're all driving me insane! 

Mr. Taleteller returned upstairs, helped me remove the mattress cover and it was dragged down the basement as well.  Then we treated the mattress, absorbed the treatment liquids and remade the bed enough that we could go to back to bed.  Everyone was relieved, although Lilac was pretty discombobulated and needed a little while to figure out that we were going back to bed.  Needless to say, we all slept in yesterday morning.  I am so glad it was Saturday night and not Sunday night!

As for who the guilty party is, I really, truly am not sure.  I do know that it is not possible for it to have been Lilac.  She can't even get up on the bed anymore, and she was out in the living room all day.  Blueberry, Bunny and Morgan all had turns in there on the bed throughout the morning.  A long time ago, Blueberry did pee on our guest bed, in what we believe was an attempt to claim it as her own.  She has also tried it on our bed once before, just after Bunny came here.  At least, I strongly suspected it was her, but I didn't catch her in the act.  She NEVER has an accident in the house and it has been a long time since she's done anything like that, so I'm not sure.  Bunny has been rather unhappy with Morgan, so it is possible that she could have tried to mark it as hers and not Morgan's.  Morgan was running around and playing in there a lot in the morning, too, so she could have decided to try the same thing, just out of spite for Bunny.  I just don't know.

What I do know is that the girls have lost the privilege of staying in the bedroom on Saturday mornings for a long time now.  I'm thankful that memory foam doesn't absorb water.  Having a washing machine in your house is one of the greatest things ever.  Finally, I'm glad that this didn't happen during the week and I'm still glad that I share my life with dogs.  At least things are never boring! 

So, how was everyone else's weekend?
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  1. Oh gross, gotta love dogs huh?! Good thing about the boys is that leg lifting doesn't lend itself to going on the very flat surface of the bed!

    So this is officially Morgan's first mug shot, right?! This must mean she is fitting in nicely!

  2. Yuckie!!!
    I love all their mug shots. Very appropriate for this post :P
    I bet the culprit is hiding themselves under the bed now!

  3. Over dinner let's all raise a toast to the inventor of the washing machine. What would dog owners have done without him?

  4. Thanks for becoming a follower on my blog.

    What a fab blog you have. I love reading about your tribe:)

    I think that is going to remain an unsolved crime:)

  5. Hmm, this reads like an Agatha Christie 'whodunnit'. I think you'll have to bring in forensic and do some DNA testing to find the criminal .... but as you've probably washed away most of the evidence it's going to pretty tough for them!

  6. HAHAH oh dear. My bet is Bunny or Morgan. Hopefully it's a one off! I love the 'this is my bed and it's like sleeping on a cloud'


    My cat once peed on nic while she was lying in bed.

  7. Oh my gosh I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants! That dialog with you and the dogs is priceless!!

  8. Sounds like the doggie DNA is in order to find the culprit. Although I am still not ruling out the Mr. Hehehe. Hope whoever it was did it on purpose because as bad as that sounds it is not as bad as having pee pee sickies, right?


  9. Oh...I just loved reading this first thing in the morning, it made my day already:)
    We have had dogs vomit in our bed, and kids pee in our bed-so I know the feeling!

    So did Morgan get Timmy out of the well?

  10. Is it me or is there one more suspect that was left out? Hmmm, Mrs. Taleteller. Just thought I would though that one out there and let the chips fall. -Mr. Taleteller.

  11. Ruh Ro! Sounds like someone is in big trouble!!

    Bunny, the doggie cruise was amazing! We thought about inviting all of you, but thought the trip would be too long - now I wish we had! I think it goes until the end of September (every Sunday morning).

    Your pal, Pip

  12. Now, I must say that your Saturday night does not sound like it was relaxing, in the end.

    In defense of the girls, our dog R has a condition where his urine pH gets too high. When it gets too high, he starts dripping and then finally oozing, leaving a big puddle whereever he's lying. We've learned to manage his condition (with diet and mild drugs) but it still happens occasionally if we change his diet. Just something to keep in mind.... because I really doubt that many dogs would purposely pee on a bed!

    Due to R, we have a "Three dog night" cover over our bed which is water resistant (it protects our down comforter which we have to use all year long at our elevation). I'm glad to hear about the water resistance of memory foam - that's what we have too!

  13. Ooooo. I can so imagine the hoomans woz not happy. A cuppull of months ago I woz on anty bionics when they founded out I has lyme cooties. The anty bionics maded me puke all over mom's bed. I don't mean a little upchuck, I mean I horked up a river. Took mom all day to wash the bed all the way down to the mattress. As soon as mom gotted her bed all maded up again, I jumped up there from my bed, horked up anudder river, then wented back to sleep in my bed. Mom had to wash the whole bed again and she woz so not happy.

  14. I can totally relate to that story! All I can say is that only someone who really loves their pets will understand. Hey, at least you made the story amusing for us readers!!! Have a greyt week!

  15. hahahaha I laughed so hard - its moments like these that I just look at my dogs and laugh! Fred went to spend the weekend with my ex and he called me and said that Fred peed on his bed - I couldnt stop laughing and said "I dont know he hasnt ever done that here?!" hahaha.

  16. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA...oh dis be exactly why I love these girls...ahem, sorry...I just can't believe one of these sweet, adoring, obedient girls would do such a horrendous thing. I be's placing my bet on Mr.TT


  17. As a woman with an incontinent dog (thanks to the vet who spayed her), this is not an unusual occurrence for me. It is completely unwitting, she falls dead asleep and the urine flows. Thankfully, medicine helps, but occasionally we still have to change the bed.

    I would have her checked out - she may not have done it on purpose!

    Innocent until proven guilty, I say!!! :)

  18. BUNNY!!!! We can't even believed you would have done somtin like this! It was probably Morgan
    ~Texas and Pompei

  19. So it seems like the phantom pee-er will remain a mystery. Though I do like all the mug shots.

  20. Poor humans! I remember when TaiChi was still alive (she was 20+ years old when she crossed the bridge), she would sleep REALLY hard, and sometimes piddle in her sleep, and Mom would have to wake up and curse and change all the sheets (they have one of those sleep number things, and have a 'water resistant' mattress cover that goes on the bed and seems to work REALLY well). But at least we knew who to blame! It sounds like your mystery will remain just that. And doggies - keep them lips shut; loose lips lose bed privileges.

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Mutant Alien Pod Puppy

  21. I totally appreciate Morgan's part of this conversation. ALERT ALERT!! Germies, you gotta love 'em!

  22. Our weekend was pretty quiet and dull, but Mom says she doesn't want to trade with you:( Hope it was a one time incident.

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

  23. Four dogs = Too many suspects! So far I haven't had Tenacious doing his business on our mattress, but if it ever happens that my back is wet from something else than sweat, I'll suspect a leak in the ceiling... or him, of course.

  24. Dang -

    Woo get all the fun!


  25. Well, I have now decided we need to adopt a coupla more dogs so that mom and dad can never figure out which one of us chewed up their flip flops. No matter how many times I tell them it's Cap'n Ripley, they never believe me. Hmph!

    Are you sure it was pee? Maybe Mr. Taleteller was just sweating...a LOT!

    Wiggles & Wags,

  26. Oh... 'dis is all rather suspicious!!! And Mr. TT knows way more 'den what he is saying.. BA HA HA HA HA!!

    Once... Anakin ran up stairs and pooped on Daddy's pillow... den he ran back down stairs to da couch.. Daddy went up stairs and screamed for Mommy..
    He was wondering why Anakin didn't poop on her pillow... Duh???
    we's told Mommy 'dat Daddy be crazy and it was 'prolly 'da squirrels in 'da attic he's suppose to takes care ofs!!! ha ha ha ha!!

    Ummm.... Just keeps yous Momma guessing...
    deres strength in numbers so stick together and if all else fails.. blame 'da Mr. TT dude!!!

    IzZY, Josie and Anakin Man

  27. Love the pictures!! Maybe a bunch of squirrels got in there and did the act of revenge? Certainly not the dogs!!! Lots of love, Holly and mom

  28. Your story was funny to read (not the actual incident), but how you told it. :)

  29. Ohh I luvs a mystery and a grreat BOL story, and I gots both of dems here today! :)

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae

  30. Don't tell Mr. Taleteller but my most favorite line in this whole post is... "Maybe dad wet the bed?" I can just imagine it asked in all innocence. BOL


  31. Yikes, I guess it was 15 years ago and Jessie was sleeping on my bed. She was very submissive. I needed to slide over and when I tried to move her, she proceeded to circle and pee out of submission all over my bed. Not something you can "catch in the act" and scold... I stepped back and told her to get off my bed.... probably for the next 5 years.

  32. Yikes! What a rude awakening, but it could have been worse.....someone could have pooped in the bed. Our cat did that once when she was a kitten and it was quite disgusting!

  33. Mom says she also thinks having a washing machine in the house is super great! Maybe the wetness was just drool...? I know my dad drools when he is sleeping! BOL!

    Barks and wiggles,


  34. Is there a problem with peeing on the bed? I might bee in trouble if there is as I've been known to do that in the past. ;o)
    Guess that is why I've only done it in the past....don't like being in trouble.
    PS: Bunny, I was afraid some of my buddies might not like me if I told the truth about those birds....glad you fessed up. Now I don't feel so bad ;o)

  35. OoOoOoOo! mama would tan my hide if i peed on the big bed!! you ladies best stay mum!
    the booker man


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