Monday, November 15, 2010

What This Blog Needs Is More Cow Hoof

This weekend found us staying close to home because of Blueberry's recovery from her surgery.  We'd already planned ahead of time that we would not be going hiking this weekend so we could be near home.  It was a good thing that we hadn't, because the weather on Saturday was pretty raw, cold and rainy.  So, it wasn't like we were missing a lot there on that front anyway.

Still, we have two young dogs here who need to get out some and stretch their legs, or we all go a bit crazy.  We'd heard that Petco was having a dental health event sponsored by Greenies, so we decided to take Bunny and Morgan over and give Lilac and Blueberry some time to relax at home.  Of course, Blueberry did not think that she needed to relax at home, but we left her home anyway.  Her recovery has gone very well, but we are still pushing her to rest, even though she thinks she's good to go on all adventures.

Alas, I digress.  We piled Morgan and Bunny into the van and set off for Petco.  I'm not a huge fan of Petco because their prices are always higher, but we figured it was worth it, and at the very least we'd get Greenies coupons.  I was hoping it would have more information and learn about some new dental care practices, but the event wasn't like that at all.  At least, the one in our store wasn't.  We got a coupon and an offer from the sales representative to look at the girls' teeth.  I figured my vet sees them often enough that we don't have to worry about the teeth being looked at.  I walked around to the Greenies shelf and wouldn't you know it, even with the coupon their Greenies were more expensive than what I'd pay for them at our regular store, so I passed.

Mr. Taleteller didn't want to walk out empty-handed, so he stopped to look at the various chewing items available.  Morgan and Bunny both liked the cow hooves, so he picked four out.  Actually, he picked three out and Bunny picked one out by herself.  It was a moment I wished I had the camera for as she carried the hoof in her mouth as she wore her pink coat up to the cash register.  I'm admittedly biased, but she was adorable.  Mr. Taleteller put it on the counter for her and paid for all four.  A salesgirl asked if they could have treats and fed them both some little pretzels that they scarfed right up.  Then Bunny turned back to the man for her hoof.  He put it in the bag and handed it to my husband.  I think I saw a little puff of smoke come out of her nose as she gave the man a serious glare of stink eye.  We're lucky she doesn't have laser beams.

So, we leave the store and return to the van.  Mr. Taleteller gets Morgan all set in her crate and then it's Bunny's turn to get in.  She hops up, turns around, grabs the bag of hooves and starts to make for the back seat.  Mr. Taleteller intercepts her and gives her one hoof and puts one in Morgan's crate.  Bunny was happy with the arrangement and went to the back seat to enjoy her hoof.  Both of the girls were quite content and chewing away.

We stopped by an agility competition that my husband wanted to see and went inside to watch it for a bit, leaving the girls with their hooves.  After a short bit of watching, we returned and Mr. Taleteller decided that we ought to go by the dog bakery.  When we stopped, he collected both hooves and put them in his seat, not wanting the girls to overindulge, and wanting them to have some left by the time we got home so Blueberry and Lilac could enjoy theirs in peace.

Of course, Bunny had other plans.  We got back in the van and Mr. Taleteller headed into the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory to get us an apple to split for later.  While he was in there, Bunny sniffed around, found her hoof hidden under his bag on the seat and retired back to the back seat to enjoy it.  He got back in the van and I told him about it, and we had a good snicker about how obsessed she was with that hoof.

I have mentioned before that we live in a very small town.  When we go to town, it's a trek over the river and through the woods in a literal sense.  It takes us about forty five minutes to drive over, which is not a big deal to us.  As we headed over the bridge out of town, we began to notice something.  There is a rather unpleasant aroma that accompanies the overindulgence of cow hooves.  There are dog farts, and there are lethal cow hoof-scented bombs that could rival the fallout of Hiroshima.  My eyes began to water and I asked my husband what he'd eaten.

Mr. Taleteller:  Me?!  That did not come out of my butt!

Me:  Yeah, sure! 

Mr. Taleteller:  I swear to God, that was the dog!  You know I'd claim it if I did something!  You know how proud of those I am!

Me:  You might just not admit it because this one is so foul!  For the love of Pete, roll down a window!  I'm dying!

Mr. Taleteller:  I did NOT do that!  It was your dog!  That smells like cow hoof!

Me:  My dog?  How do you know it's not your dog?

Mr. Taleteller:  She hasn't eaten as much as Bunny!

Me:  I think I'm going to be sick!

Needless to say, it was a long car ride home.  Once we arrived, she had all intentions of carrying it into the house on her own.  Mr. Taleteller intercepted it and told her she needed to take a break.  She wasn't the only one! 

Later, they all enjoyed the hooves for a while, and then we put them up before any ill winds could develop and blow through.  We learned our lesson.  Too much of a good thing isn't good for the rest of us.  I find myself relieved that I'm going to be getting some fresh air at work this morning!

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  1. Not sure how Bunny goes with her hooves, but Barbie's little greyhound jaw seems very ineffectual on cow hoof. She loves to chew on them but apart from some small scratches it's hard to tell that she has been working on them so hard. Bender often softens them up by chewing and slobbering and then Barbie will take the slobbery one.

  2. Lovely story... I needed a good giggle. Thanks!

  3. You'd know I'd claim it.


    I used to teach 4th grade. I learned to love the bodily functions. Laugh or be embarrassed. What can you do? Oh, yeah. Blame the dogs.

  4. Had to smile at the toxic gases:)

  5. We just love the image of Bunny taking her purchase to the cashdesk!
    How cute!
    We are glad that we are unable to smell the delights that followed although we have good imaginations based on experience!
    Still we reckon it is always convenient for humans to be able to blame us dogs.........!
    Martha and Bailey xxx

  6. Ha ha! Cow toe farts. Oh man! Yuh, I have issues riding in the mastiff mobile with the windows up too. Especially after eating broccoli.


  7. Oh, flatulence times four could be quite interesting at your house, huh? It sounds like Bunny is a girl who knows exactly what she wants. I have to admire that.

    One thing, though. Why are human males proud of their farts? Mine are, too. I don't understand it, to tell the truth.

    lotsa licks, Lola

  8. OH!! I've not tried hooves yet....If Bunny loves them that much they MUST be good. I did have a cow's ear yesterday and that was yummy.

  9. Sounds like a very, um, fragrant day you had! heeeheeee......thanks fur da chuckles today!!!

    My momma has been trying to switch us over very gradually to more grain free and naturals foods. That is a good thing, butt her noticing that the GAS factor has been dialed up around here, too!! Her is hoping that it is just a temporary thing, while our innards adjust.
    You know it is bad, when new sissie has da Gas and the other dogs wake up from a nap, look around for the offender, and then get up and move to another room!!


  10. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it this morning. Bunny, you are one of a kind!

    Your pal, Pip

  11. We never had cow hoofs before... does it make one a bit "airy"?

    Our people here are most proud of them farts too :) One should always own up to one's farts... cos its a "work of art" :D

  12. A furrend of mom's gibbed us all hooves once but as soon as she left, mom confiscated all of the hooves and throwed them away! She said the stink woz making her sick and we had not even started tooting yet. Hoomans dussnt' know wot smells good.

  13. Uh..uh!!! It seemed the car ride wasn't so pleasant after the gas attack! But I wonder what Bunny and Morgan thought about that though! Smelly, smelly not???

  14. LOL! Great story!!
    Cow hoofs and smelly farts! What could be better than that?:)

  15. This was a welcome and needed laugh this morning!
    Mom and me thanks you. :)

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae

    PeeS My dad always tries to blame me for his... ;)

  16. That happened to us with our first Greygirl Blaze. Same exact treat, in the back of our van...unfortunately we are talking February in Minnesota so the windows were opened regardless of weather and the heat cranked up. Still haven't forgotten the smell and it was a good 18 years ago or so.

    When dealing with intense Greygas it is not a bat idea to have gas masks within reach. ;)

  17. Ha! Welcome to the world of Frenchie-ness, where eye-watering farts are part of everyday life! We've been seen driving down the highway mid artic winter temperatures with the windows down so that no one passes out!!


  18. Bunny is quite the shopper! LOL I would have loved to have seen her taking her purchase to the cashier. Very cute!

  19. I am happy to hear that Blueberry feels good enough to want to go on adventures. That's great news!

    I laughed over your description of the ride home. We gave up on cow hooves for exactly that reason! Eye-watering and nausea inducing stenches seem inevitable!

    Believe it or not, R once found a deer hoof in the forest and swallowed it whole without us knowing it, that is, until he threw it up whole. Thank goodness for that because I hate to think of what it might have done to his GI tract...

  20. I think the phrase is "he who smelt it, dealt it".

    That is the funniest story! I'm glad Blueberry is up to traveling - sounds like she's doing great!!

  21. Oh the farts, don't get me started! Makes you want to lock them in the car with the a/c on recirc. That will learn them! ;)

  22. I miss our cow hooves! it's funny our dogs love them at first but then they only like them for a few hours and leave them alone. we don't ever go through them fast enough. and if i gave them too often, they'd never like them at all.

    that's so funny. how cute she carried it up to the counter. the stink eye? you think she was practicing for stink butt?

  23. Oooooo...I've never had a cow hoof. Mom wasn't sure if they were okay for us to eat or not but since YOU give them to your doggies, I bet she lets us have one now. But, um, I'm just gonna leaves out that part about the gas.

    And I can't BELIEVE you don't have a picture of Bunny carrying the hoof to the register. I bet she looked so proud!

    Wiggles & Wags,

  24. Hahahahaha

    As soon as I saw the title (which is brilliant, by the way) I cringed. I find the hoof itself smells awful as the dog chews on it. It's subtle but foul. So Shiva doesn't get any more hooves unless we are camping outside. That odour is just too much for our small house!

  25. =)))
    we laugh a lot with this story!
    We love your posts!

  26. What a great story! We all laughed and smiled a lot. We have never had cow hooves, but after this post, we don't think we have a chance at convincing the Momster to let us try them:(

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

  27. "...We're lucky she doesn't have laser beams."
    Thought I'd bust a rib laughing at that one! The whole story provided a great visual. Thankfully, no smell-o-vision!

  28. LOL! That was a really funny post. Cow hooves are awesome!


  29. Well, those hooves sounded so good at first and I was thinking of getting Ryker one but once you got to the fart bombs I think we will pass thank you! Thanks for the warning!

  30. We love carrying it up to the counter to pay for it. If it had been a Sibe, there would have been shoplifting involved. And, Kiska is quite proud of hers and claims them. Just there is no one left in the room to notice. And she does not need cow hooves.

  31. Loved the story - put a big smile on our faces this evening!

    take care
    Clive and Murray

  32. We like them hooves too but Sasha ends up having to take a "zantac". So we don't get them anymore. They sure were good though.

  33. Haaaa!
    I had a good laugh reading your post!
    Now I know about those killer fartings caused by the hoofs!
    Happy monday!
    Kisses and hugs

  34. This literally caused me to just LOL! Had some deja-vu too. One of the first "warnings" I remember reading in our greyhound research prior to adopting Joy was that a greyhound fart will wake you out of a dead sleep :)

  35. Holy guacamole...We love those hooves too. As far as the near lethal fallout after eatting them: Why'd you go and tell our mom that that is where the stinkers come from?? Hootie and I were both making the most lovely,foul odors the other night and mommy could not figure where they came from. Now she knows. Sure hope she doesn't restrict our intake of hooves now. Bunnie is VERY much like BabyRocketDog. One tracked mind when it comes to treats and food.hehe.
    Smooches from pooches,
    Hootie & BabyRD


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